A Matter of Perspective
by Physically Inflated
Summary: With such a powerful memory, a vampire can't forget, no matter how much he or she wants to. Isabella Swan is dead and Edward Cullen cannot forget her, forget the day he found out, or forget his love for her. BxE, full summary inside.
1. Life Sucks EPOV

Full Summary:

With such a powerful memory, a vampire can't forget, no matter how much he or she wants to. Isabella Swan is dead and Edward Cullen cannot forget her, forget the day he found out, or forget his love for her. What happens when all is not quite what it seems?

**EPOV**

Have you ever heard anyone say 'Life sucks and then you die'?

As a general rule, this is true. It is not, however, true for one such as myself. Life truly does suck, in the deepest meaning of suckiness and in the loosest meaning of life. You do not, however, escape from the type of 'life' that I have.

I cannot forget what I have done and what, as a consequence, has happened to me. I cannot stop myself from wondering what would have happened had I done differently.

I am in love with a girl. The most beautiful, the clumsiest, the sweetest girl anyone has ever known.

Stupidly, I wasted the love that she had returned to me. I left her. True, I left her purely for her own protection, but she never knew that. I blatantly lied to her. I told her that I didn't love her anymore, that I didn't want her anymore. There was no statement in the world that was more untrue than that one.

A year later, I returned, unable to stay away from her, even if it meant that I was putting her in danger again. I came back ready to beg and plead and get down on my hands and knees. I was prepared to be rejected, but I would forever watch her and remember what a fool I had been and still was for even daring to hope that she might have wanted me still.

I came back to the place I'd left only to find out that she, too, left the place, but her leaving was far more permanent. She was dead.

The moment that I knew she was dead I died, too. I wanted- no, longed- to die, too, but I'm not that fortunate.

I set out to find those who could kill me and probably would, but I was stopped. Had I not had to stop for that connection in the airport, I would have succeeded and at long last been with my love again.

But no, I was intercepted by my damn sister Alice and her reinforcements.

So I will wait for the relief of insanity to come and take me away from the world that has a cruel sense of humor, a world that has killed me but where I have not died.

* * *

**A/N-**

**So, this will be my first ever BxE fic... I wonder how it will turn out.**

**As like my other stories, this 'chapter' is merely a prologue.**

**Let me know what you think and if _you_ think I should continue it. I probably will anyway, just for my own amusement, but let me know anyway.**

**Thanks!**


	2. Death of a Swan BPOV

_BPOV  
_

"Kath? _Kath!"_ Cora's worried voice sounded in my ear. She'd been trying to get my attention for the past three minutes. I could hear her, of course, but I ignored her.

Cora finally got annoyed enough to shout. "KATH!" Still, I let her voice fall on my ears unheeded. "Fine," she snapped. "Do you want to make this easy, _Kath_, or would you prefer to make this difficult?"

She got no response. "Alright." She shrugged. "Isabella. Marie. Swan."

"That is _no longer _my name, Cora, alright?"

Cora glared at me. "I couldn't get your attention otherwise!"

"Why did you need it?"

To this Cora would give me no straight answer, except, "Lee wants to see you."

I glared at her. "If Lee wanted to see me, he would have told me himself."

Cora rolled her eyes. "If he wasn't so busy with Annie," she muttered.

I made a face. "That's nice, Cora, really."

She made a face similar to mine.

"But that's not the point, Cora. The _point_ is that I used to know a girl named Isabella Marie Swan. She is NOT me! She is _dead_, remember? _Dead_!" With that, I stormed off angrily.

_**FLASHBACK**_

Tick tock. Tick tock. Tick tock. Tick tock. Tick tock. Tick tock.

Tap tap. Tap tap. Tap tap. Tap tap. Tap tap. Tap tap.

_I clenched my hand angrily, willing it to stop. It was going to dive me insane!_

Tap tap. Tap tap. Tap tap. Tap tap. Tap tap. Tap tap.

"_Annie! Quit. It." I said very quietly through gritted teeth._

"_Sorry!" She whispered. She then proceeded to giggle at me._

"_Annie!!"_

"_Sorry." She fell silent. I thanked my lucky stars, but it didn't last very long. "Why are we here again?"_

_I nearly growled at her, but that might have blown our cover. "You don't remember? This may be the very first time in history that a vampire has actually forgotten something important, or something at all!"_

_She cut me off. "No, I know what we're doing, I just don't understand why it's necessary."_

_I rolled my eyes. "Because according to Forks, Washington, Isabella Swan is still alive. We need to correct this."_

_She rolled her eyes, too. "Drama queen."_

_I shook my head but did not reply. I needed her to shut up so that the damned werewolves didn't discover us. I didn't mind them so much; it was their smell and the fact that they knew too much. Anyway, they couldn't hear Annie (whom they did not know) or hear our plans. That would be disastrous. With their oversensitive hearing (almost as sensitive as ours), they would know something was up and would follow. We did not want that. We also did not want them to smell us. We'd stolen a human teenager's clothing (it was the most smell-saturated we could find) and we had very little time before the wolves would catch on. The only one who knew (as of yet) that it was us was Jake._

_We were, in fact, going to meet him. He would then 'attempt' to save me once my truck started falling off a cliff. Too late, I'd fall to my death anyway._

_That was our cover story. I wouldn't be in the car in the first place. I would be hiding somewhere nearby and Annie would stealthily push it off. It was a good thing that they did not know her._

_Jake rushed up to meet us when he heard the tell-tale roar of my truck engine. I'd miss the old monster (the car, not my friend, who I planned to stay in touch with)..._

_Grinning from ear-to-ear at the coming excitement, he bounded up to me and wrapped me in a hug. Annie watched on, laughing quietly. After a moment, Jake set me down, making a face. "You can't help it, I know, but you reek, Bells, you really do!"_

"_Thanks," I told him sarcastically. "You don't smell all that great either, Jacob Black."_

_He rolled his eyes. "Ready to get this show on the road?"_

_I grinned in spite of myself and put on a fake-cheerful voice. "Let's go murder Bella!"_

_Annie winked at me. "Ah, dreams really do come true!" she said. She then dodged my fist, which had flown toward her. "Hey, hey, kidding."_

_After double-checking that no one but us was around, I climbed down the face of the cliff. Jacob's head appeared a few feet above me. I gave him a thumbs up. _

_I heard him quietly give the command to Annie, who casually shoved my truck just hard enough to get it rolling. She then climbed down after me and stood beside me on the cliff. "That was strangely satisfying," she said with a grin as the truck fell past us into the dark water._

_Jacob started yelling my name, watching with relative (albeit pretend) helplessness as I plunged off the cliff. Within seconds, I heard the pad of paws approaching at full speed to see what the commotion was. Annie and I took this as our cure to disappear fully into the water._

_We swam a far enough distance that we could see them but they could not see us. We tread water and watched the dramatic performance by the great Jacob. He screamed and yelled for a few long minutes, gesturing after my truck. The truck had long since sunk to the bottom._

_I heard Sam tell him sadly that there was absolutely no use in looking for me, or my body. The current was strong today, he said, and I was already far too gone. _

_Upon hearing this, Jake turned into a giant wolf and ran off, howling. Annie and I high-fived one another and we swam off at full vampire speed toward a distant shore._

_**END FLASHBACK**_

While I ran from Cora and the past, I thought about my friend Jake. He was almost 23 now and had a family of his own. He had imprinted on a nice girl who came to visit her sister in Forks. They visited the reservation and in nearly seven years since, they'd been married and had three small children.

In those seven years, he'd kept my secret. I did not know how he kept it from the others when in wolf form, but he somehow did. It may have had something to do with the fact that they'd killed all of the vampires in the area (to their knowledge) so they did not turn into wolves anymore. I suppose they might again someday, if there is ever any reason to, but not at the moment.

The only person he'd ever told the secret to was Amber, his wife. He was wired not to deny her anything, so when I was mentioned at some point or another, he had to tell her.

I e-mailed Jacob and Amber almost every day after for a very long time. I missed him and I wanted to meet her, but it would be simply too dangerous to go back.

I found company eventually. After I was changed by someone I did not know because I did not see, I did my best to follow _their_ example.

Just days after my transformation, I met Annie. I told her my name was Kath (and she did not find out for quite some time about my real past… or most of it). She did not (at the time) follow the same diet at me, but she was willing to give it a try. We did not find a permanent residence like _them_, but merely lived and hunted, lived and hunted.

Annie was rather petite. She had red hair with random bits of blond. She loved to twirl things- it was a sort of nervous habit of hers.

Soon after killing Bella Swan, Annie and I met Cora. She was the tiniest little vampire I had ever met; she was eight when she was changed. She had the curliest brown hair and the cutest little face that I'd ever seen as well. She had an attitude that reminds me a bit of an old friend that I will not speak of.

After Cora came Lee. He was originally Canadian and spoke with a slight accent. He was the biggest enigma to me. He was 28 or 128, depending on how you looked at it. His black hair was long and obscured most of his face. He did not speak very much, except to Annie, who was his mate.

The three of them plus me made up our little coven. Because I requested, we hunted only animals.

Nobody said anything about it, but I knew that they each spent their days longing to be who they used to be.

I had not told my coven of _them_… that was the one secret I kept to myself.

And so, in that way, I spent my days longing to be who I was when _we_ used to be.

**A/N-**

**I deem this chapter acceptable, nothing more, nothing less. It's not my best, I know, but I'm sick at the moment and this is the chapter for information. Now you know basically Bella's past. More will be explained later, but until then, you'll have to wait.**

**In the last sentence, the use of the word WE, if you haven't already figured it out, is dealing with Edward and Bella.**

**So, please, please, _please_ do me a favor and review... I really need the cheering-up thing right now!**

**Thanks,**

**Beth (Physically Inflated)**


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